You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
