I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
