his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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