everyone is single if you try hard enough
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
