I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
