I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
