You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize