Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
