Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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