he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
so much tequila, so little girl.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
