I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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