will power is for people who don't want to get laid
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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