we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
