I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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