I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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