i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
