He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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