I'm gonna have a badass scar
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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