): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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