this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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