and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
