Life is so much better after having sex.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
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shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
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the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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