we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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