We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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