his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
