My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I want to fling myself into the sun
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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