She is in my trunk
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
love makes seman taste better
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
