Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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