They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
