I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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