how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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