At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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