Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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