i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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