well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Randomize