You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
