I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
