oh god the rape fog is back!
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
