butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
