I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
