It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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