I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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