I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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