I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
