Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
