do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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