yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize