I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize
