I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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