When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
