Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize