He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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