I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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