why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
