Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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