News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
