So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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