just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
