we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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