R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
We need to get me chipped asap
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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