Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
