She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
