Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
