Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
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