ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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