Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
